I Loved Your Cock Shot but then Boom!

Some women like abs, some women like forearms, some women like eyes.

I like cocks.

Cocks are my thing. They’re my favourite body part. I admit that cocks give me all kinds of shivers when I’m feeling, and not seeing, them. But that’s not what makes me love them. Well, okay, it’s not the *only* thing that makes me love them. I love looking at them. I think they’re the spunkiest thing that was ever invented. I’ve heard that some women like to look into their lovers’ eyes after sex. Some like to lie on their chests and cry, or have long and profound conversations. Some like to feel as though they’ve just travelled through the universe and collected a thousand stars along the way after sex.

But I like cocks,

so after sex I would rather lie all the way down on that man’s stomach and [censored]. This has added benefits, because sometimes it ends in more sex. But that’s not why I [censored]. No.

I really, really, really like cocks.


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Profile of a Fetlife Asshole [As edited by a Fetlife fuckwit]


30M Dom

orientation: Asshole

active: I Live as an Asshole When I Can

is looking for: A slave


About me

Ok, well, as my profile says I am an asshole. I know that is not very popular on this site as it is filled to the brim with feminist [s plural]. However I really do not care what they think about me, so here it is.

I have come to realize that in many ways I am a very big asshole. I do not believe in condemning my inner fuckwittery. I believe in my fantasy of the old ways of doing things when [the] desire to worship assholes was an immediate realization upon meeting them. I will not stand on ceremony unless there is a ritualistic or highly sexual aspect to it, as all tallywackers surely understand. I get that ceremony is, by definition, ritualistic, but making nonsensical rules gives assholes a lot more ways to get our rocks off.

I do not believe in sitting a woman down and going over a checklist of what brands of fuckwittery she will accept when it comes to her submission. If you are not in tune with her enough to know if you are truly hurting her then you are an asshole, which means you are exactly like me. I also do not believe in allowing her to top from the bottom as most submissive women I’ve met since yesterday have tried to do; submission means exactly that! Dominance means being an asshole and ultimately allowing submissives to take you to places you have never been before.

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Dear Anorexia Fetishist, With Love From an Anorexic

Anorexia fetishists target those with existing anorexia or coerce anorexic behaviour and thinking in their subs under the guise of kink. Their kink is not my kink and that’s not okay.

Dear Anorexia Fetishist

This is my positive, healthy, pretty story.

In primary school, I resent my mother. She has divorced my father and he has disappeared. Struggles for money become the fuel that drives her days. She sits at the dining room table while my sister and I eat. Food is as precious and rare as her presence in my life—she is hardly ever home. If I put down my cutlery before my meal is finished, she’ll talk to me. It doesn’t matter that her words will be angry. It only matters that they are words and that I feel a sense of control over a life that has spun around and become something I can’t understand.

Lesson One: Food is a way to control and get love.

In my early twenties I enter the fashion industry. I know that my low weight will always be an asset. If there is anything I know how to do, it’s to stay thin. The more weight I lose, the more I am complimented. A size zero suits the clothes I’m expected to wear. If zero is good, smaller must be better.

Lesson Two: Food is a way to gain admiration.


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Prettiness is Not a Rent You Pay for Occupying a Space Marked “Female”.

On Fetlife, every curve, concave, droop, dimple, and wrinkle gets celebrated in the comments underneath. Round and old? “You’re beautiful.” Round and young? “Beautiful.” Dark and slim? “Beautiful.” Pale and lithe? “Beautiful.” Short and drooping? “Beautiful.” Some get more ‘beautiful’s than others, but everyone gets a ‘beautiful’.

Dirty room? Not so much. Fetlifers don’t like dirty rooms.
Comments about weight by the poster with the photographs? Not so much. Fetlifers love to troll, and troll they will. Criticise yourself and you will be criticised.

But present yourself as you are, with your insecurity hidden away from the monitor, and Fetlifers will tell you you’re beautiful. They’ll also tell you you’re fuckable, lickable, and a ‘good girl’. These are not always welcome comments, but we are getting more than what we’d get on the rest of the internet where one large woman wearing a tight orange dress travels Facebook in a day of mockery that reaches millions.

Kudos, Fetlife! Fucking Kudos.


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Profile of a Fetlife Princess


92F Sub (Antarctica)

orientation: Gorgeous

active: I Live as Gorgeous 24/7


About me

“Be graceful, especially when kneeling and twirling. But never forget your inner pain.” — Me

Ok, well, as my profile says I am fucking gorgeous. I am also a sub. I have tried all the other orientations and this is def the one that is most popular among the K&P celebs. I consider myself an Alpha-Sub: sexy, powerful, sexy, gorgeous, powerful…I’ve suffered a lot of pain, so sometimes my shadow side comes out. It is, however, coming from a place of sexiness, so I believe it is always worth it.

If you PM me, then follow the following format. I will block messages that fail to follow it and punctuation counts guys this is the format. (If you are an erotic photographer, you don’t need to use this format.) (Oh, and if you’re real life friends with Sir_James_ or any of those guys in the Dom Island posts, you don’t have to use the format either.)

Format for PMing Arendelle

Dear Arendelle (If you misspell my name I will block you.)

  • Years of experience as a Dom:
  • Years of experience on Fetlife:
  • Number of K&P appearances:
  • I have dick pics in my photo album (yes/no, and NO EXCUSES, just yes or no.)
  • Are you Mr Cocky?
  • Specialty (Rigging, spanking, penis size, looks out of 10)

100 to 150 words and no more than 600 characters about what you can add to my life. If you cannot follow instructions, you are clearly not capable of being my dom, so don’t bother if you can’t count words.

Thank you for reading my PM.

Yours sincerely
Insert name

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The Story of E: Becoming the Sub That I Am

One of my favourite songs is written in G major—a simple, serene, almost happy chord. Then suddenly it moves out of key for only one note. Against the serenity, that syllable is turned into a vitriolic piece of agony. The A minor note is very far away from the melody dictated by the chord, and it’s the longest and loudest one in the whole song. So not only is it the most chaotic note possible, but the most obvious one, too. From that point, the song keeps creating dissonance only to move back into key to resolve that dissonance, a constant shifting between the visceral and the docile, into harmony and then out again, with each move adding to the resonance of what came before.

E and I began in G major. We got involved without knowing one another’s sexual proclivities, and we got sexually involved without admitting them. The first time he wondered into degradation, it sang with the same kind of visceral beauty as that A minor key—it was louder, longer, and more affecting than any I’d ever known. I was too stricken to move.

I once consented to something thoughtlessly, wondering with him into territory that was dangerous for me. I remember little about that night beyond his moving directly out of the moment. I remember his, “What is it, sweetheart?” I remember how he spoke to me in every way I needed to be spoken to. I remember his tone. I remember being spoken to until there was no way to doubt that he could be trusted to have absolute control. Against his degradation, his compassion became a kind of resonant, long, loud note. My safety was turned into absolute safety.

It was the continuous shattering and resolution of dissonance that I
loved most about E. Before him, my relationships had had no resolving of the dissonance that was there: the A minor and the G major had coexisted constantly. Something had been out of key.

E said very early on that he was going to make sure I was always craving sex because that was the only way I’d fully understand what I was made for, and that is exactly how it ultimately worked. Because he was the only one who’d ever strung me out on that much lust, I did find out that was what I was made for. And so he turned me into his whore and his toy and his hundred other nasty ways of saying I was nothing more than a series of holes made for him to use as he saw fit. He drowned me in sex. It was like being broken in like a horse.


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Open Letter From Your Crappy Fetlife Friends

Hello there,

We’re your Fetlife friends. Those Fetlife friends. You know the ones. The new doms who have recently gotten into K&P and are now collecting cyber subs like cockrings. The 22 year old expert riggers who want to teach you their mad skills. The alpha subs who are generating reasons for their superiority. Your great new fan-guy who signs his comments, “Call me sir or you’re not a sub.” The girl who appears to have stayed perpetually single since joining.

We all have a lot to offer the internet, and we’re exciting friends to have. For instance, we’re unpredictable. Who else is going to tell the old fashioned shibari coaches to fuck off and die? Or post random dick pics in their journals that are taken from the same angle, some peeking out of jeans, others looking down from inside the shower, wet feet in full view. Or post one-word-per-line poems as status updates? We don’t think there’s anything weird about reminding you every single day how great our skills are. Are you saying that they aren’t great? Did you see the K&P post that read, “Why I’ll never call myself a dom on my profile page?” Hell, yeah!

We have a lot of fucks to give. We’re pretty much always getting whipped and tied up.

We’re always making the best porn videos, too. There was the sexy one of a vibrator and an orgasm. Or what about the poorly shot grainy one with the looks-far-too-young blondie giving a blowjob to a walking six pack? Very powerful.


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