How a sadist reassured me I’m heteroflexible.


Maybe she wasn’t so much a sadist as the chick who was waxing my bits. That is neither here nor there; at the time, I assure you there was not much of a difference in my mind.

She seemed to really get into the job with a fervor I found a little disconcerting. And as I hadn’t really been all that groomful (it’s not a word, don’t bother looking it up) down there, she had some territory to cover. I was absolutely mortified, but I avoided eye contact and apologized repeatedly and profusely, so all was well. It’s winter and I’ve been single. A yeti had a better bikini line than I did at that point.

The waxing was brutal. Note to self and others: a $45 bikini wax is a “you get what you pay for” kind of thing. There was no finesse, just a woman going after my…

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