When Starving Isn’t Sexy

My blog rarely sees the same search term twice, with two notable exceptions. These show up too often for me to count:

  • -1) The Wolf
  • -2) Anorexia fetish.

I’ll not bother to comment on the global lupine addiction, but let’s talk about that anorexia issue. A fetish is a


aid to sexual excitement. Did I type that word out big enough for you? Damn. Let me try again. A fetish is


A psychiatric diagnosis that kills more people than any other is


Encouraging a potentially fatal psychiatric condition is pathological, too. Do you know all the things anorexia can do to your body? I spent five weeks on a drip for malnutrition and dehydration when I was in anorexia’s grip. Anorexia is the very definition of body neglect. It causes multiple organ failure, anaemia, and osteoporosis. How sexy am I now?


(Continue reading below)


If you like the idea of fucking a person whose blood pressure is so low they can’t sit upright for longer than 10 minutes at a time, you should also be aware that anorexia doesn’t stay pretty for long. Apart from the unsightly body fluff and bones, hair thinning, dry skin, and those gorgeous dark circles, it also inhibits the immune system, so that partner of yours will constantly be coming down with all kinds of infections. Am I still sexy?

If so, then your anorexia fetish is the very definition of pathological, and I don’t give a fuck if I’m judging your “kink”. Want to know why? Because it’s not a kink. It’s a sickness. If helping people walk to the very edges of death turns you on and you act on it, your actions are abusive. Kink is not meant to kill people. End. Of. Story.

Here’s another word for you: Paraphilia. Paraphilic disorder is characterised by abnormal sexual desires that involve dangerous acts. It’s diagnosed if your arousal pattern is intense, atypical, and harmful. Someone with paraphilic disorder causes distress and harm, either to themselves or others. Anorexia fetishists cause distress and harm for the sake of their sexual satisfaction, which does not make them kinksters but rather people who are psychiatrically ill.

I’m trying to create a balance here that isn’t ableist, but it’s kinda hard when you’re running around the kink community inducing a potentially fatal illness. Anorexia is a progressive disease, so even if your anorexic sub reaches no less than 40 kgs, they’re highly likely to keep on nurturing more weight loss long after you’re gone. How do you rest easy knowing you might have kicked over the first domino that led to someone’s death?


2 thoughts on “When Starving Isn’t Sexy

  1. In my view, a good Dom wants what’s best for their Sub. That means the Dom is as much concerned with their Subs physiological health as they are about their own. Also, an unhappy and/or unhealthy Sub is not going have the best response or give an ideal performance. Ongoing maintenance, just the same as after-care, is essential in the relationship. Good Doms put effort into ensuring the health and safety of the Sub. Not only that a good Dom seeks to improve the life of the Sub as well, helping the Sub to become a better person. That means its the Dom’s job to work with the Sub when they do have an issue such as anorexia.

    Using the tools of discipline in D/s relationship, a Dom can help the Sub form new habits or even get the medical treatment needed. BDSM is not supposed to be only about sex and getting an orgasm. It’s also about a loving relationship. It’s about giving a damn for someone else, being on their side to help them deal with the problems they have.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bringing Truth to a relationship is the foundation to Unseen and unknown issues
    Desperately awaiting failure


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