My first dom hated passive subs. I grew into power exchange to that attitude, so I’m not the type you’d want to tie up. I’m too much of a pleaser to hang back like an inert and static sex doll. I love figuring out how a man’s body works, and kink is the magic ingredient that makes that discovery phase longer. Being submissive does not make me lazy. It doesn’t make me apathetic. It doesn’t prevent me from participating. I don’t see why it should.
If a dominant is doing all the work while the sub hangs back, aren’t they the ones in the service role? Tied up and down, you’ve taken away my physical power, but you’re also taking away my ability to serve.
Does that make me switchy? I don’t think so. Service does not necessarily mean being hogtied with a gag in your mouth. Service and submission can be active.
If you’re the type who uses a flogger like a feather, your kink is not my kink and I can concede that that’s okay. My kink is dominance, not service topping. Sagaciousdom, dom above all doms, once wrote that one of the keys to being a great dominant is to take your pleasure and take it often. Please do. I need to know you’re getting what you came for, and surely a sub who knows how to play your body like an instrument is something worth shooting for?
I adore intelligent dominants. They know how to control you in the most cunning of ways. Slyness makes me fall over my own feet. If you can climb into my brain and compel me, my god, I’ll be your sex toy forever. If you manage to get rid of me, you’re always going to have a starring role in my fantasies. I remember almost every mind fuck I’ve had the pleasure of receiving. They’ve been that rare.
The mental and emotional parts of power exchange are what drive me. If you can restrain and compel me with words and actions instead of rope, you’re my entire kink list in one person. If I’m suspended from a ceiling, how are you going to get that right? Far too easily, and “easy” is not my kink. I’m not interested in pretty knots either.
Passive is not an accurate synonym for submissive. Acquiescent, dutiful, servile… these are better words for my brand of submission. Supine? Fuck that shit. I have far too much imagination for that. I need to be used properly. I need to serve. More than anything, I want to know you found the holy grail of pleasure and my name was on it. And I want to make you too spellbound to be able to read it.