I Like Fetlife. Bite me.

This weekend I got to cook dinner for someone I met on Fetlife who lives on the other side of the country. I spent last weekend at the coast with another kinkster getting a million hugs and backrubs, and just last week I received a, “Hey. Want to come to Paris in October?” email.


That was an adventure… for approximately 10 minutes, which is how long it took to realise I might actually need a passport to get there. I will do that highbrow visit to meet my Fet friend after I get the necessary documents.

Sometimes Fetlife really does make the world go ‘round. Much of my social life now consists of people I originally met on the site, and half of my closest friends are kinksters. How did that happen in only 18 months? Fuck knows. I find the kink community to be quite magical.

Continued below


I realise that whining and ranting about Fetlife is the new black, but with all due respect, fuck that. Fetlife has brought me clients, some supreme buzzy toys, and an awesome platform to write from. At Fetlife, it rains awesomeness and puppies most days.

On the other days, there are stalkers, consent violators, and assholes who spot, mock, and troll, but when you use the site for the express purpose of getting off the site, it’s a stellar tool. Create an online-only Fet life and you’ll spend much of your time dealing with the 20% of the population who makes everyone miserable. That’s an entirely made up statistic, by the way, but let’s just call it the Pareto Principle for the sake of credibility.

It’s taken some time, but I’ve sculpted a friends list that’s loyal, authentic, and funny as fuck. I could go on and on for days about what I adore about all the kinksters who are constantly flowing in and out of my home. I’ve already gone on for days about those I’ve not been lucky enough to meet in person.

I joined the site to learn, but I only became a part of the community because I relied on its members to keep me company when I was too ill to do any real world socialising. Now I’m healthier, and many of the people who kept me going then have shifted offline and feel like family.

The accepted way to use Fetlife is to spend your time there and talk about how crap it is simultaneously because that’s a really productive way to shape your happiness. </sarcasm>

It’s uncool to say you like Fetlife, but I like Fetlife. Bite me.


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