Meet O. His tales about the evil and delicious things he gets up to in his kink life deserve to be anthologised and yet he’s been respectful and generous for all the time I’ve known him. He’s hot, funny, and successful to boot, but he’s not a nice guy.
Here’s D. He’s a gifted designer. When I lived in his city, he and I used to have edge-of-your-seat conversations that went on all night. Still, he’s not a nice guy.
Meet H. He’s 6 feet of pure creative brilliance and intelligent enough to run laps around my IQ all damn day. He, too, is not a nice guy.
Hell, if you want to meet 150 men who are not nice guys, just comb through my Fetlife friends list. I’ve dug up some spectacular people, and half of them are not nice guys. The others? Well, they’re women. To each their own.
These men are wise. They’re sharp. They’re talented. They’ve never felt entitled to a damn thing from me. They’ve never tried to manipulate me into becoming their fetish dispensers or wank fodder, and they’ve never asked for sexual rewards for having treated me with respect for as long as they have. They just give that shit out free of charge.
There’s not exactly a shortage of stellar men in the world. They’re everywhere, so when self-professed “nice guys” complain that there’s a dearth of pussy in their lives because we women want bad guys, I can only shrug and point to the outstanding men I know.
Nice Guys think that we, as women, owe them an equal opportunity dating experience, as though we were put on this earth to consider every one of them as an option. Thou shalt give Nice Guys an equal chance in the dating pool. Thou shalt appreciate it when Nice Guys don’t sexually assault you. Thou shalt provide sex when Nice Guys behave ethically for an entire week. Thou shalt give Nice Guys what they’re entitled to: a piece of ass.
If Nice Guys knew how many spectacular men there were roaming this earth, they might understand why we don’t appreciate the fact that they didn’t hit us yesterday or rape us when we were passed out.
If the dating pool is a balance scale that compares awesomeness by character traits, there isn’t a Nice Guy on one side and an asshole on the other. There’s a Nice Guy on one side and a sexy, smart, principled guy who doesn’t see friendship as a consolation prize on the other. Nice guys just don’t put enough good traits on their side of the scale, and that’s why they lose—because there are a fuckton of good men in this world who have enough positive traits to sink the Titanic.
If all you’ve got is that you’re not a rapist and wife beater, you just don’t stand a chance.