Things That Make Kinky Men Better (and Worse) than Vanilla Men

Porn

Benefit: They send you well-sourced porn. Sometimes, that porn has bi-guys in it.
Even bigger benefit: Sometimes your boyfriend is bi.

Sex toys

Benefit: They’re not jealous of your sex toys.
Benefit: They have their own sex toys.
Drawback: They whip you with their sex toys.
Benefit: They whip you with their sex toys.

Cocks

Benefit: They show you theirs before you go on a first date with them, so you know if it’s not your type before you even bother.
Drawback: Sometimes they show you theirs way too early.

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Poly

Benefit: They let you fuck other people.
Drawback: They prolly want to fuck other people.

Orientation

Benefit: They know what cis het means.
Drawback: They’re embarrassed that they’re cis het.

Glitter

Benefit: They don’t mind you planting glitter bombs in their office chairs.
Drawback: They whip you for it anyway.

Public Sex

Benefit: They’ll fuck you in public.
Drawback: They’ll tie you blindfolded to a St Andrews cross at a kink convention and leave you that way for six hours with your ass in the air and “whore” painted on your face.

Blowjobs

Benefit: They don’t mind your gagging.
Drawback: They’ve been deep throated before, so you’ll never again be “That Girlfriend Who Gave Me the Most Epic Blowjob of my Life”.

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