You’ve never seen me at events because I’m invisible, and not because I wasn’t there. I have an imaginary harem of subs who I routinely water board in my daydreams. I know you like bad boys, baby. Yes, you do. Did I tell you I’m just pretending to be kinky to find a vanilla lay? Let’s fuck.
The Dude Who Likes His Keyboard a Bit Too Much
Hiiiiiii!!!!!!! Letsssss………….. fuck………………..
The Super Dom
I’m so hard-core I beat my subs with a barbed wire flogger if they piss without my permission. I am So Twue. I am Very Master. Wow. I will now lecture you on how the lifestyle is dying because I can’t think of anything else to blame for my slaves leaving all the time. I know you’re dying to fuck me now.
Mr Very, Very Postmodern
I know how to over-complicate sentences. I shall now bore the crap out of you by using terms like “mythopoetical paradox”, even though I can’t tell the difference between “you’re” and “your”. Now tremble in fear as I copy and paste all this stuff I found online as though I wrote it myself. Do you feel inferior yet? Then let’s fuck.
How R U? How R U now? And now? What about after the weekend? U still fine? Let’s fuck.
Mr True Master (Who’s Been Domming for 50 Years)
I joined Fetlife an hour ago and will now prove how speshul I am by telling you I’ve been a Master since my parents taught me how at the tender age of two. Don’t believe me? Well, did I tell you I’m a lawyer? That proves that every cell of my underused libido is worthy of some hawt pictures of your bewbs. I know you wanna fuck me now.
Mr Multiple Personality Disorder
I know how to change my label from Daddy Dom to Master to Breeder so I can post an ad at every personals group in the city. I will now masturbate too much and then whine that there are no real women on Fetlife other than feminazi bitches because nobody will go out with a cock shot avatar. If you’re a real woman or a feminazi bitch, though, we should definitely fuck.
I send women long stemmed roses made out of Unicode and type them Elizabeth Barrett Browning lines in the hope they don’t notice my plagiarism. I love thee with the breadth, smiles, tears, of all my life, so wanna fuck?
I wanna fuck. Let’s fuck.
Mr Sweet Transvestite