About that Word “Sapiosexual”

I’m not attracted to people with below average intelligence. Does that make me a sapiosexual? No. I’m like most other people walking the planet. We all look for attractive traits, and intelligence is no difference than an hourglass figure or those sexy squinty eyes I love beyond all reason.

I’m relatively smart. Does that make me a sapiosexual? Definitely not.

I like to have relationships with people I can talk to for hours in dark bars. Does that make me a sapiosexual? No. It makes me normal.

My ex used to get as turned on when I spoke about books as he did when I wore The Red Dress. Was he a sapiosexual? Maybe.

(Continued below)


The word sapiosexual doesn’t show up in any major dictionaries. A random blogger named Torin claims to have invented the word in ’98. His definition goes: “I don’t care much about plumbing. I want an incisive, inquisitive, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humour.”

Torin turned himself into an internet celebrity on the basis of a lie–The word ‘sapiosexual’ was hanging around long before he claims to have coined it.

Guess where?

In the kink community.

Major dictionaries say there isn’t enough evidence that sapiosexual is a real word with a settled-upon definition—not enough for it to crawl onto the pages of their books, anyway. New words find their way into Oxford’s smaller dictionaries all the time, but sapiosexual hasn’t because everyone tags their own meaning to it. Psychology Wikia says it’s an attraction to intellect alone, with no fucks given for gender. It’s like pansexuality, only with an IQ of 140+. Wikipedia takes you straight to ‘pansexual’ you if you look up sapiosexuality.

According to Torin, if you’re sapiosexual, you don’t mind which gender your sex partner is, as long as they can recite Kant. Since my ex had a preference for women, he wasn’t sapiosexual by that definition.

The other definition is a sexual attraction to intelligence. If that’s what sapiosexual means, can we make an island for people who have a fetish for idiocy and ugliness? Because if attraction to intelligence is unusual enough to be a kink, then so is attraction to kindness. If that’s the case, then who in this world is not sapiosexual?

Sapiosexual is known as a self-identifier. It’s like those blank sticker labels you used to put on your schoolbooks. You could write anything on them as long as you understood it.

In other words, you are sapiosexual if you say you are, but nobody really knows what you mean. Call yourself a sapiosexual if smarts make you wet, but for the love of all things kinky, please don’t call yourself one because you want everyone to think your IQ is super-special because that’s just pretentious.

As for you, Torin, you pulled off an internet hoax monumental enough to require its own word. Maybe you should coin one.


5 thoughts on “About that Word “Sapiosexual”

  1. While I can get behind the idea of having some terms and definitions within the community to help us better understand one another and what we are interested in, this is an example of one of those times where all I can do is side eye and ask ‘Seriously?’
    I agree with you in that by definition, everyone would be a sapiosexual no? Well, I guess with the exception of those that are turned on by those whose IQ is questionable… I mean I’m sure there are some out there somewhere….

    -Sub D


  2. Very good, when I was on the website I would see individuals try to liken it to only wanting to be with individuals that belonged to Mensa….

    A man’s brain and having the ability to coherently put across his point on a myriad of subjects is sexy to me… when it becomes “affected” it kills it… there is intelligence and then there is being an arrogant buffoon…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s