I’ve suddenly realised that I’m a domme. The unquestionable signs have been there all along, so I truly don’t know how I missed them:
- I have a profound and lasting desire to have all my coffee made for me without having to ask
- I’m sick of coming up with pranks that earn me spankings so I would like to demand them instead.
- I really need someone to do my typing for me.
It’s not topping from the bottom if you’re the top, so I hereby announce that I am looking for a sub. He should be:
- good at giving orders in a domly, yet subly way.
- capable of domming his domme on command.
- talented at baking cupcakes.
- gifted with a flogger (also in a subly way, obviously).
He should also require no beatings. I’m a domme, not a sadist.
Basically, I require a True Dom cum sub who is into total power exchange wrought from my venerable new philosophy called “Bottoming from the Top™”. With a single domly look, he must make me forget that I bossed him into a violent face fucking.
Which person in the peanut gallery just called me confused? Fuck you. I’m perfectly clear about my role in a D/s dynamic: I’m a authoritarian slave who wants to be dommed into submission in a convincing, yet forgettable way by a guy who does what he’s told. It’s not complicated.
Since this concept is entirely new to the kink community, I’m benevolently allowing others to follow in my stead. If you have realised that you, too, are a domme like me, I will magnanimously allow you to copy my fine example of True D/s. I’m thus offering classes on the art of domination so that others may learn from my supreme wisdom.
Men with submissively domly cocks get in free. Just don’t expect any CBT is all I’m saying. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your belts. I will be demanding spankings.