“Don’t Stick Your Dick in Crazy”

“Don’t stick your dick in crazy” is the theme of the week on Fetlife, and I quote.

“Avoid playing with [a partner who] has legit psychiatric issues. […] ADD and depression aren’t usually a big issue but bi-polar, autism, schizophrenia….You never know what you’ll get.”

These people have no rules about sticking their dicks in epilepsy sufferers or cancer patients—nope. Only bipolar disorder and schizophrenia get sex policies. Therein lies the stigma. Ableism is an irrational sense of superiority caused by ignorance, and Fetlife has more than enough of that to go around.

During recent years researchers have been learning how many psychiatric disorders have important physiological components. PTSD patients have a shrunken hippocampus. Depression patients have neurophysiological markers.This is your brain on bipolar and this is it on schizophrenia. The gap between medical illness and psychiatry is growing closer with each passing month.

Continued below)


When the DSM was in its third volume, there were only enough psychiatric illnesses to fill a toaster manual. Every edition got thicker, so the current version is more like an encyclopaedia. I like to think the manual will shrink back to the size of a toaster manual after scientists are done discovering how many psychiatric conditions really have physical causes.

Most of us will have to care for an ill person at least once in our lives, and most of us will need care when we’re dying. Medical and psychiatric illnesses are bothtough on caregivers. The only reason there isn’t a cliché that goes “don’t stick your dick in sick” is that people seem to think ill people deserve more compassion than that. If your problem is in the brain, though, you’re on your own.

I have friends with bipolar, schizophrenia, and addiction, among others. They’re far saner than many of those who have no diagnoses. They’re also more compassionate, self-aware and accepting. If you’re the type of person who’d blindly reject someone because of a psychiatric disorder, you don’t deserve the friendship of this amazing demographic of people.

One in every four people will have a serious mental illness at least once in their lives. 800 000 people die from suicide each year. Mental illness is everywhere, and it’s too serious for a stupid trope like “don’t stick your dick in crazy.” I’m more than willing to develop a policy about sticking my dick in people who use that cliché, though, because cruelty isn’t sexy.


2 thoughts on ““Don’t Stick Your Dick in Crazy”

  1. Unfortunately those that cause others to seek help through therapy do not seek it for themselves. If more people realized that issues that they were raised with required getting healthy themselves first so they didn’t pass on the unhealthy behaviors to others. Granted there are definitely some illnesses that are more severe than others and need clinical and prescription support.

    It is just so important that everyone try to be the healthiest that they can be and that others do not tear them down with their unhealthy behaviors.


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